Never really listened to this song “The Heart of the Matter”. Not really my genre. However, I heard this lyric and I began to really think about what it was saying. He was saying, I’m going to forgive, not because it will make you love me, but I will forgive you even if you don’t love me. True forgiveness is not based on conditions or expectations of a certain return. What a concept. Whether forgiving yourself or someone else, we have to forgive. If we don’t we are essentially imprisoning ourselves. We got to FORGIVE. He hurt me, she hurt me. You don’t know what they did Couple of things I had to learn. There is nothing I can do to change the past. It’s solid, it’s history, it’s written in stone, immovable as a mountain. Whether me or someone else. What’s done is done. Regret, resentment, or even revenge- none of these can change what has been done. These things will essentially ruin me. Grief and bitterness will only keep me thinking in the past. What is sadder is all that time spent has not changed a thing. We cannot change what has happened, but there is a means for healing. God will redeem my past if I allow him. He can take my worst choices, biggest mistakes, and worst experiences and bring about something magnificent. God promises to forgive and redeem. I have to be willing to let the past be the past, giving up all thoughts to change it, refute it, but most importantly fixate or dwell on it. Gotta give it to God. Even the hurt caused by others is an opportunity for God to radically change our lives forever. Lewis Smedes said it best, “Forgiveness manifest a wiliness to give up to God the right to judge and punish an offender, to see that person as a real human being, and to begin to wish him or her well. Forgiveness does not always restore the relationship, which requires movement from both sides. But it lets the hurt go and moves on. Forgiveness assumes that God is in control, that he will do justice at the proper time, and that he will make all things right in due time. Even when the relationship is not restored, because the offender doesn’t care, or continues to offend, or disappears, or even dies, forgiveness works redemption into the heart of the person who does the forgiving. The act of forgiveness becomes a conduit for God’s grace to work in that person. God’s grace can work wonders too, whether or not the offender takes responsibility for the wrongdoing. Grace can heal the soul….create peace…”
Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologizes or change.
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